In Search of Spirit Voices  A RUMOURS Story
by BillA1
Summary: Synopsis: John has questions that need answers after The Once and Future Thing.


Disclaimer: The characters Batman, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Superman & Flash their respective secret identities are all owned by DC Comics. This story is intended for my own pleasure and is not for profit. It has been posted to this site for others to read. Places and characters not own by DC Comics are my own creation. The RUMOURS stories are a special collection of stories based on the lyrics from the 1977 Fleetwood Mac album of the same name. A special thanks to Merlin Missy for her beta on this story.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
****IN SEARCH OF SPIRIT VOICES – A RUMOURS STORY  
**Rating: (PG-13)  
Synopsis: John has questions that need answers after "The Once and Future Thing."  
**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions  
__I keep the visions to myself  
__It's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams and…  
__Have you any dreams you want to sell?  
__Dreams of loneliness…like a heartbeat…drives__ you mad  
__In the stillness of remembering what you had  
__And what you lost. (Dreams) – S. Nicks _

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

It had been three weeks since the League had defeated the hideous combination of Luthor and Brainiac; three weeks since he and Shayera had openly acknowledged how badly they'd hurt each other; three weeks since Superman had talked of opening an embassy on Earth.

And now today, John Stewart found himself in Gotham. This was Batman's city. He wasn't there because Batman needed his help; he didn't, but then Batman would never admit to needing anybody's help. Stewart chuckled at that thought. After all these years, Stewart finally thought he'd broken the code on Bruce. On many levels they were so much alike. For both of them, accepting help wasn't as difficult a task as requesting help. Batman didn't seem to need anyone, remaining emotionally detached, and Stewart envied him for that. _No one will break Batman's heart, not even Diana._

In the daylight, Gotham was a dark city, but at night, the darkness was overwhelming – and depressing. As he stood on the roof of one of the old buildings in an area of Gotham Bruce called 'Crime Alley,' Stewart watched, not sure what he was supposed to be watching for, and waited, not sure what he was supposed to be waiting for.

"Want to share what you're looking for?" Stewart asked. He noticed all the street lights were on, but they didn't seem to illuminate much of the street. They just created little pockets of light amid a sea of crushing darkness. "Maybe I can help," he added.

Batman looked at him, his eyes narrowing, then he looked back out toward the street. "Waiting for an informant to come out of that building," Bruce said in a low voice, pointing across the way. "You can't help. Besides, you didn't come here to help me anyway. You came to talk about _him _again, didn't you?"

_So what if I did,_ Stewart thought but instead he said, "Does your informant know you're waiting on him?"

"What do you think?" Bruce answered. _Is that a smile on his face?_

"I think I might be here for a while then, huh?"

"Not if you want to talk about _him_," came the reply. "You really need to let that go."

Stewart wasn't surprised by the answer. He'd talked to Bruce several times before about the future they both saw because of Chronos, the future that involved his son, Rex. Bruce didn't want to talk about the future or maybe, the thought had just occurred to Stewart, Bruce didn't want to talk to _him_ about _Bruce's_ future.

The problem as Stewart saw it was that _he_ couldn't talk to anyone else about what they saw _except_ Bruce. Yet, in the back of his mind, he thought Bruce had already talked to someone about what _he'd_ seen…someone besides Stewart. He was sure Bruce had come to grips with the possibility that he could end up a lonely old man, and had probably discussed that with someone. _Probably his butler.__ Possibly Diana. Yes, certainly Diana._

Stewart sighed. He didn't dare talk to anyone else about what he'd seen. He couldn't talk to Vixen about this, about a future with his child… Shayera's child. He didn't think Mari would understand that it was only a possible future. No, this would only hurt her in ways she didn't deserve.

And yet, he couldn't tell Shayera or even Wally, although part of him said to tell one of them or tell them both. _They_ would understand the concept of time travel, alternate realities, and parallel universes.

Yes, _they_ would understand that.

But would they understand _this_? Would Shayera understand?

_No way._ He wasn't going to chance it.

He cleared his throat. "Okay, but let's remember YOU brought the subject up first this time, not me." He smirked then frowned. "I just don't get it. We both see the future and your advice to me is, 'Don't worry about it.' It's a _possible_ future. It may not be the real one." Stewart shook his head as he added, "That is so bogus and you know it." _Bogus_. _Where'd that word come from? Wally!_

Bruce didn't look at him as he spoke, but there was clearly frustration in his voice. "Look, we've talked about this before. You're not stupid and couching the question differently won't change the answer. You've seen someone in a possible future who said he's your son. When we came back, we changed that future. That timeline might cease to exist now. _He_ may not exist. He may never have existed in our timeline."

Bruce reached into his belt and took out his grappling gun. He stepped back from the edge of the roof holding the gun at his side. "But say he does exist," Bruce continued. "When do you and Shayera get together to create him? Tonight? Four days ago? A year from now? Three years ago? Remember this is the same Shayera who is still going out of her way to avoid you right now." His eyes narrowed as he scowled at Stewart. "And yes, it's that obvious."

Stewart was silent. He thought about returning Bruce's stare with a glare of his own, but thought better of it. _Who out stares Batman?_ _Besides,_ _what's his problem?_ _I saw my kid. I didn't see his. And maybe that's his problem with this. _

"You know, you keep telling me to do nothing, to not think about it," Stewart said moving back toward the roof's edge. "Is that because you don't want to think about how _you_ might end up? Alone? Lonely? So you tell me to do nothing because you're doing nothing. You accepted what you saw. But you don't want me to accept what I saw." Stewart immediately regretted saying that. He needed to say it and Bruce needed to hear it from him, but in hindsight, he could have found a less painful way to get his point across.

Bruce looked surprised. Then his jaw tightened. There was anger in his voice now. "Yes, I saw an older version of me. But that doesn't mean I should drive my car off a cliff today because I believe I'm destined to survive the fall and grow old. You have to plan for the future you want and then live in the present to make it happen. The present becomes the future, not the other way around."

Bruce fired the grappling gun at a rooftop across the street. He turned and looked at Stewart. "Remember what that old man said to me when I asked him about the Batcave and the Watchtower? Well, that's what I'm telling you. This, the right now, the right here, is all we have. Deal with it!"

Stewart watched as the Batman jumped off the rooftop and swung away into the night. He heard a surprised and terrified man's voice coming from across the street. _Guess Bruce found his informant._

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Then he leaped up and headed skyward. "Yeah," he parroted. "I'll deal with it…the way a Green Lantern should deal with it."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

(Kalinor – Two days later. Twilight.)

From the front, the bar was a nondescript business establishment, something he thought should be in a cowboy movie – a bad cowboy movie. Yet, it didn't seem out of place when compared to all of the other buildings in this particular neighborhood. Whereas Gotham had seemed dark and depressing, this neighborhood on Kalinor just seemed dark.

The entrance to the bar was a large opening with double swinging doors. There was a large glass window in the front of the building with the word "ERIDANUS" printed on it in large letters. Stewart took a deep breath and walked through the front door with his best John Wayne swagger.

There was music playing inside. Even with the large window to let in the available light, the place still seemed gloomy. He squinted, scanning the bar. Then he saw her.

She sat at a corner table staring into her blue drink. Then, as if she sensed his presence, she looked up and spotted him. She didn't smile at him, but then she rarely did. Still, he knew she was happy to see him even if she didn't outwardly show it. With her ring hand, she silently signaled for him to sit down.

As he sat across from her, she flashed a small smile then arched an eyebrow as if she was waiting for him to say something. He knew she wanted an explanation as to why he asked to meet her here, not as a friend and comrade, but instead invoking the special relationship that existed between student and teacher, trainer and trainee.

He returned the smile. "What's it been? Three or four years since I was here last? You and Kilowog did a good job here."

Katma Tui frowned. "Kalinor has survived," she said, picking up the drink in front of her and gently swishing her glass. "But I can't believe you wanted to see me because you are impressed with urban renewal projects. What's on your mind, John Stewart? Why did you insist on seeing me in my official capacity as your trainer?"

"Kat," he said softly, then he paused. _Just say it straight out._ He sighed. "I need your help on retooling my concentration."

Katma took a sip of her drink and then after setting the glass down, locked her eyes on his. "Go on," she said. Her tone was flat.

Stewart shook his head. "I feel like I'm a recruit trying to explain why I can't construct a sphere." Her expression changed into one of concern. "No, it's not that kind of concentration problem." He paused. "I… saw something…someone that I…want to help, but I can't help them. Not now. Not yet."

Katma stared at him and for a moment, he thought he'd finally met the person who could out stare the Batman. Her eyes narrowed. "And how as your trainer do you think I can help you?"

Stewart leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. He returned her gaze. "I need you to do something for me. I need you to wipe that person out of my memory."

Katma leaned back in her chair. "Is it the Thanagarian?"

Stewart smiled and shook his head. "No. Her son. My son." Using his ring, he projected a small image of the man, Rex Stewart, in front of her. He wasn't able to read her face. _She still hides her emotions well._

Katma took another sip of her drink. There was a small quiver in her voice as she spoke. "Well, I'll say this, Stewart, you and the Thanagarian made a good looking man. Why do you…Wait a minute! He's a man! When was he born?"

Stewart terminated the projection. He looked down at the table as he answered her. "I don't know. I went fifty years into the future… on a mission… and met him." He looked up at her and made a fist and rhythmically tapped the table. "But now I'm afraid of doing something or not doing something that affects him. Kat, it's screwing up my life. I mean…I… I'm not seeing his mother at the moment. Am I supposed to drop my current girlfriend and start back up with Shayera? Do I tell Shayera what I saw? What if she decides right now she doesn't…? This whole thing has jacked up my life!"

Katma's eyes softened. "You haven't said anything that I can help you with yet. I will not erase your memory of him. You're asking me to change the future by denying you knowledge that you already have…knowledge _I_ now have. Am I supposed to wipe my memory too so I don't accidentally speak of this, speak of him in front of you? Mind tampering is serious business."

He nodded. "I know and I thought a long time before asking you to do this. But it's the only way."

She took another swallow of her drink. "There's always another way," she said as she slowly ran her finger around the rim of the glass. "Were you and the Thanagarian married in your future?"

He shook his head as he steepled his fingers in front of his face. "I dunno. I don't even know if she was alive." He paused before adding, "Hell, I don't know I was alive."

In seconds, her face went through a range of emotions, moving from surprise and shock to disgust. "And why didn't you ask?" she snapped.

"Because Batman said not to," he answered sheepishly. The look of disgust deepened in her face. "Yeah, I know," he offered. "My future and I'm not allowed to ask questions. In hindsight it was pretty dumb to listen to him."

She finished her drink. Her tone had that drill instructor "snap" to it he thought, as she spoke. "Not dumber than wanting your mind erased so you can't get answers to questions you didn't ask because some man bat said not to. Do you remember anything I taught you, Stewart? Do you remember 'stealth and guile?' Those are things a Green Lantern must know, things a Green Lantern must do. Why do you allow that man bat's fears to become _your_ reality?"

"But we shouldn't know our future," he said weakly. "We change it by knowing it." _Even I don't believe that now. _

She shook her head and then tapped him gently once on the forehead with the palm of her hand. "That is the biggest load of _gharnot_ I've ever heard. You make your future by planning for it. You plan by getting information - _all_ available information. You possess the most powerful weapon in the universe. Use your ring and go fifty years into the future if that's where the answers are you want. Find the answers to the questions you have, John Stewart."

She looked around the bar and then stood up. "Follow me. We're finished here."

He followed her out of the bar. He thought about something Shayera had said years earlier on this planet about holding on to images of people, forgetting that they did change. He and Katma had both changed over the years, but the basic foundation for their relationship would forever be trainer and trainee. Yes, right now she was treating him like a trainee, but he reminded himself that he'd asked her to. _This time._

They stood on what passed for a sidewalk outside the bar, ignoring the passersby. She gave him a wry smile as she placed her hands, palm down, on his chest and gently rubbed. "When you have all the answers you want, when you know what _you_ want to know, contact me. _Then_ if you want your mind wiped, knowing the answers to all of your questions, we will talk. Then we _can_ talk."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "You knew this all along, John Stewart. You only wanted me to remind you." She kissed him lightly on the cheek, then stepped back and jumped into the air, hovering in front of him. "Call me after you know what you need to know and not before." She shot skyward, disappearing into the rapidly approaching night.

"_She_ knows how to make an exit," he said to himself. He looked at his ring, then out to the point in space, out beyond the twinkling evening stars, where Katma had just disappeared.

It's not the stars that hold our destiny. It's us. Our destiny is in us. I know what I have to do now. I guess I've always known what I had to do.

He leaped in the air and headed for Earth.

He wasn't going to deny himself answers he needed; answers he _knew_ he was entitled to.

Not any longer.

Soon, he would know what he needed to know.

END


End file.
